Dating is one of those mysteries of life for most guys. Even those that claim to have it figured out have a tough time explaining it to the rest of the masses in a way that makes any sense. However, most men you talk to will tell you that they look forward to spending an evening with a beautiful lady. There is something just undeniable about attraction. When a date goes well and there is that connection through finding some common ground and laughing, you just feel euphoric. There is nothing quite like it. Getting the dating thing right can be tricky though. Even where those first few dates go really well, maintaining that momentum and keeping a relationship healthy is difficult at best. The nice thing is that the internet is ripe with "experts" to help you out. Right? Yea, right.
I recently found one such article where the author Abbie Kopf offers some pretty simple advice on dating. I know. You will believe it when you read it. Well do it. Read it. I think you will find that the advice will strike you as being honest and true in a way that might actually be helpful the next time you are trying to figure out if someone is being real or not. So let me break it down, because its pretty freaking simple. Her advice is that "if a person is into you they will find a way to be with you. No exceptions." Just think about that for a second. It seems like a no brainer, but how often do you find that someone is playing mystery games and you get can't get enough or you are pining after someone that just doesn't show any interest? It happens all the time. Sure sometimes a person playing hard to get is intriguing, but eventually it gets old and frustrating. Sometimes you just have to know when to say enough is enough. Not only is it simple, but it applies to all kinds of relationships. Whether you are hetero or gay, woman or man, young or old this piece of advice applies to you.
Let me give you a real example using my love life right now. My ex girlfriend moved out of our home five plus weeks ago. Since that time, I have literally done everything in my power to hold onto what I lost. If she took the time to look, it would be easy for her to see that I am still fully engaged and trying. However, the result of my efforts have simply been frustration, anger, and dejection. My ex has told me over and over that she just wants to live her life. That she doesn't regret her decision. All the signs point to me being put on the back-burner of her life. The problem is that I have not been listening. In my mind I keep thinking she still loves me and maybe just maybe we can work things out. It certainly seems reasonable. However, I have come to the realization recently that the article is right. She has zero interest in going back to the way things were. Yes, we have seen each other. Yes, we have even gone on a couple of dates, without calling them that of course. However, I have had to initiate almost every interaction. My ex has yet to ask me to do one thing with her. If my ex wanted to be with me, she would. Plain and simple. I of course recognize this example is based on an extreme situation where the relationship has run its course. Obviously, there are more subtle situations not involving a break up, but perhaps more about indecisiveness. That is certainly a trickier spot.
I think for most people who are dating this advice would be good to at least consider. Does the other person exhibit the signs that they want to spend time with you? I find that when I am into someone I will do almost anything to make time. I will go without sleeping, eating, give up personal activities to be with them, change plans in some cases, etc. When you see signs that these kind of efforts are not being made it may be time to cut the cord. Some caution needs to be exercised here. Look, life can be hectic. Things do not always work out the way you want them to work out despite best intentions. I don't think this advice can be looked at in purely a short term perspective. I mean everyone has tough weeks. So the bottom line is you have to evaluate these things in the broader context. Is the person your dating doing other things to show you their interest level is there when they can't physically be with you? Perhaps a phone call, Skype, a loving text, sending flowers or just a card to let you know they are thinking about you. There are a lot of ways that someone can make the effort to show you they are with you even when they are not. So don't be too quick to judge in all cases. You will have to use some common sense.
I don't know. It all seems so simple when you think it about it in these terms. If they want to be with you, they will find a way. I mean you really can't get any more cut and dry then that. If only these darn emotions wouldn't warp logic and keep us from thinking clearly. Ha, ain't love grand? Perhaps, the below article really has the answer. Give your woman an orgasm and she is yours forever. At least until someone else does.
Relationship advice is like opinions...
No comments:
Post a Comment